Nursery rhymes without the tears

I love nursery rhymes. I recently came across this brilliant "review paper" on the  prevalence of injuries in  nursery rhymes.  They express concern over the lack of appropriate medical help for Humpty Dumpty after he broke into pieces or Jack after he broke his crown. It was a fun read. It also got me thinking about the disturbing amount of violence in these rhymes. Three blind mice repeatedly get their tails cut off and an engine driver runs over Piggy just because he didn't care!  I love these rhymes, but as I sing them to Keerthana I wonder if I can edit out these injuries while keeping the charming scenarios and the simple rhyme schemes. Here is an attempt:

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water,

Jack danced down, all the way to town,

and Jill came prancing after!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty dropped a crystal ball,

All the kings horses and all the kings men,

Couldn't put the crystal together again!

Three blind mice, three blind mice

See how they run.

They always ran to the farmers wife,

Who sliced up their cheese with a butter knife,

Have you ever seen such a thing in your life

As three blind mice. 

Piggy on the railway,

Picking up stones,

Along came an engine,

With some ice cream cones.

"Oh", said the piggy,

"That's tasty fare!"

"Oh," said the engine driver,

 "It's because I care!"

And I leave you with one of Keerthana's favorites in it's original form.

Top 10 things I learned in my first year as Mom

One year is so short, yet so long! So much can happen in one year. A little 6 lb 3.5 oz baby can learn to smile, roll over, sit, stand, walk, talk, all in 12 months! In one year, I feel like my normal self again, and not a hormone-crazed drama queen. I feel more confident and enjoy my time with Keerthana so much more because I'm not terrified of doing something wrong!  Here's a list of the top 10 things I learned along the way:

10. It's just a phase: This is the phrase that tops the list of things I heard about every baby question I could conjure up. The crazy part is, it is true! Everything is a fleeting phase! Like the time she wouldn't drink from a bottle. It turns out that a couple of weeks later, the bottle worked just fine. Or the time she loved avocados. I rejoiced at my daughter's healthy tastes, turns out that was a phase too!

9. She's teething: This one is the second most common phrase. Being fussy? She's teething. Has a low-grade fever ? She's teething. Not eating well? She's teething. Interestingly, teething doesn't mean that teeth actually start showing, it just means they could be moving toward peeking out. Guess what? For all those teething  symptoms she experienced over the year, Keerthana has two teeth slightly peeking out. Can't wait for real teething!

8. Grossology is a real science: By the law of conservation of mass, the amount of poop and pee is directly proportional to how well baby is eating ( and how well I feel like I'm doing my job). By  Burp's law of ideal gases, the

Pressure of burp*Volume of milk= Number of hours of baby's sleep* amount of Rest for parents*degree of their Thankfulness. 

Or,

PV=nRT.

There are several other laws of grossology that vaguely resemble laws of Physics for solids, liquids, and gases. It's a very important, very real science.

7. "Burp the baby" is a hold in football: I heard the term during a football game on TV the first week after Keerthana was born and just assumed I was hallucinating. I was not. It's a real term in football! Here's the definition:

When a quarterback taps his non throwing hand on the football for a long time and waits too long to throw it

The key here is the phrase, too long. I have seen the darkness of the night dispel as dawn broke while  waiting  "too long" for the burp.  To the NFL parent who coined the term, I know where you are coming from!

6. I'm a great baby food chef: I loved the puréed food stage. I'm a self certified chef in that style of cuisine. Being a baby food chef needs you to be highly skilled in 3 things:

1. Cutting vegetables and fruit

2. Steaming them, which means to put said cut pieces in a plate with holes over boiling water

3. Pureeing/mashing. 

I'm amazing at that. I can cut, steam, purée/ mash anything you give me. If baby eats it, I'm a world famous chef, if she doesn't , it's a phase. 

5. I get children's books: Reading to children is great. Every parenting book/website, and even AAP recommends it. I think I know the secret reason for that. It's for the parents! I often catch myself nodding off while reading Goodnight Moon, or feeling thankful for the recap of animals at the end of Brown Bear (there is no way I could've recounted the animals at the end). The simple story lines, clear illustrations, and entertaining rhyme schemes are as much as I can follow after an exhausting day. Subtle humor and intricate plot lines are too much effort at this point. Plus, Keerthana loves being read to and I'm thrilled that "boo" (for book) features in her small vocabulary at present.

4. There is a new language called Internetparentese: I speak that fluently now. Here's an example of sentence in Internetparentese:

My LO was EBF for 6 months and I'm now trying BLW. DD seems to love it and DH is very supportive. 

3. There is a new way of keeping time: I don't use the Gregorian calendar much these days. It's too confusing. For me this is year 1 AB ( after baby) and I got married in year 3 BB (before baby). The hours are not represented in AM/PM, but are counted around DDT (daycare drop-off time ) to DPT (daycare pickup time), with DPT being the only fixed thing in the day. Hours outside DDT to DPT are all a blur.

2. I'm a rockstar: That's how I feel when I go to pick her up at daycare at the end of the day. She throws her hands up in the air, gives a clap or two, and laughs out loud. She loves my singing. I'm also super funny. I just have to make a sound or two and it cracks her up. I wonder how long this will last, but I'm sure enjoying it!

1. I'm having fun: It is a lot of hard work, sleepless nights, etc. A lot is written and said about that aspect of a baby's first year. But I also feel like I'm having the most fun I've ever had in my life. At least for now. Ask me again next year!

Tamil and Telugu: So similar, yet so different!

My mother tongue is Telugu. My husband's is Tamil. A lot of people ask us which of these languages we will speak at home with Keerthana. Both, I assume, since children are so much smarter than adults. Plus, I thought, Tamil and Telugu are so similar, right? Here's where it gets crazy. There are words that are common to both languages, and I mean identical, but they mean entirely different, unrelated things!

I can picture a conversation somewhere around present day Guntur between 1500-1000 BC going as follows:

(Disclaimer: all characters are fictitional, any resemblances to historic figures from another era and geographic location are purely coincidental)

Nannayya: "I'm bored. The town clown Tenali Rama is sick and I have nothing to do."

Tikkanna: "I have an idea, let’s make up a language! Tamil is getting kinda old, and it has too many words starting with "P". Pannu, paaru, pesaru, pasikaradu, purinjadu, pidikum...I'm getting tired already!"

"Yes, lets change all of them. I heard this guy say some cool words in Sanskrit, lets mix some in. Cheyyi, choodu, maatladu, aakali, ardham, ishtam...this is fun, isn't it?

(They go on for some time and make a lot of progress with the verbs. Tikkanna now pulls out a bag of peanuts and starts munching reflectively)

"Say, its getting harder. What should I call this peanut?"

"I have an idea, let me write up some Tamil words on these cards. You pick a card at random, and we'll assign that word. This is getting more fun!"

(Nannayya shuffles the cards and Tikkanna picks one and laughs out loud)

"Palli! We're calling peanut, palli! Ha ha, lizard! This ought to mess with their heads!"

The game got very interesting and they went on to make a pretty impressive list of random word-meaning assignments. Parupu is lentils in Tamil, mattress in Telugu. Pramadam is awesome in Tamil, danger in Telugu. Vaaya is mouth in Tamil, batch in Telugu (as in, I made a batch of idlis this morning). Then came, the oft repeated joke in Telugu films, nalla is good in Tamil and black in Telugu. They went on playing for some time until Nannayya had to use the rest room and Tikkanna was done with the game.

Nannayya: "Ayyiponu" ( Tamil for I need to go "number two")

Tikkanna: "OK, I’m finished. Ayyipoyindi. That’s what we are calling finished in Telugu. Let’s give the rest of the words to Pothana. He’s not that creative any way, he will add or delete some syllables to words to make them sound different. Thalai (head) will become Thala, mooku (nose) will become mukku, you get my drift."

Nannayya: "Got it. I'm bored of this anyway. Let's mess with some rituals and customs tomorrow."

(Overheard as they walk away)

"I have to go to a Seemantham today and a Valaikapu tomorrow.  Why do they need two ceremonies for pregnant women? Lets just do one, the easier one with the pretty bangles, and call that Seemantham in Telugu."

"Oh, and lets do away with the tradition of lady wearing black, doesn't go with the colorful bangles."

"People are going to love us..."

And that, is the story of how Telugu and Tamil are so similar, yet so different!


　



Jump The Blues Away

I had the luxury of working from home the past couple of months, which meant I could see Keerthana, hold her, and be there for her whenever I wanted. Last week I went back to working at my office. It was really hard for me. Keerthana on the other hand, hardly seemed to notice! The high point of my week was when my Dad emailed me the video below of Keerthana having a blast in her Jumperoo. It was the first time she figured out how to jump in it. When I bought it on my cousin's recommendation a month or so ago, she seemed to be mildly amused by the toys around and occasionally swayed in it. I didn't quite get the rave reviews that this toy gets on every conceivable baby website. But last week, she figured out she could bounce up and down in it and she LOVES it! We put her in it for about 10-15 mins in the afternoon and evening (I'm sure more will lead to overstimulation). She has a blast and watching her makes me laugh away my I-miss-my-baby blues. Win-win!