Top 10 things I learned in my first year as Mom

One year is so short, yet so long! So much can happen in one year. A little 6 lb 3.5 oz baby can learn to smile, roll over, sit, stand, walk, talk, all in 12 months! In one year, I feel like my normal self again, and not a hormone-crazed drama queen. I feel more confident and enjoy my time with Keerthana so much more because I'm not terrified of doing something wrong!  Here's a list of the top 10 things I learned along the way:

10. It's just a phase: This is the phrase that tops the list of things I heard about every baby question I could conjure up. The crazy part is, it is true! Everything is a fleeting phase! Like the time she wouldn't drink from a bottle. It turns out that a couple of weeks later, the bottle worked just fine. Or the time she loved avocados. I rejoiced at my daughter's healthy tastes, turns out that was a phase too!

9. She's teething: This one is the second most common phrase. Being fussy? She's teething. Has a low-grade fever ? She's teething. Not eating well? She's teething. Interestingly, teething doesn't mean that teeth actually start showing, it just means they could be moving toward peeking out. Guess what? For all those teething  symptoms she experienced over the year, Keerthana has two teeth slightly peeking out. Can't wait for real teething!

8. Grossology is a real science: By the law of conservation of mass, the amount of poop and pee is directly proportional to how well baby is eating ( and how well I feel like I'm doing my job). By  Burp's law of ideal gases, the

Pressure of burp*Volume of milk= Number of hours of baby's sleep* amount of Rest for parents*degree of their Thankfulness. 

Or,

PV=nRT.

There are several other laws of grossology that vaguely resemble laws of Physics for solids, liquids, and gases. It's a very important, very real science.

7. "Burp the baby" is a hold in football: I heard the term during a football game on TV the first week after Keerthana was born and just assumed I was hallucinating. I was not. It's a real term in football! Here's the definition:

When a quarterback taps his non throwing hand on the football for a long time and waits too long to throw it

The key here is the phrase, too long. I have seen the darkness of the night dispel as dawn broke while  waiting  "too long" for the burp.  To the NFL parent who coined the term, I know where you are coming from!

6. I'm a great baby food chef: I loved the puréed food stage. I'm a self certified chef in that style of cuisine. Being a baby food chef needs you to be highly skilled in 3 things:

1. Cutting vegetables and fruit

2. Steaming them, which means to put said cut pieces in a plate with holes over boiling water

3. Pureeing/mashing. 

I'm amazing at that. I can cut, steam, purée/ mash anything you give me. If baby eats it, I'm a world famous chef, if she doesn't , it's a phase. 

5. I get children's books: Reading to children is great. Every parenting book/website, and even AAP recommends it. I think I know the secret reason for that. It's for the parents! I often catch myself nodding off while reading Goodnight Moon, or feeling thankful for the recap of animals at the end of Brown Bear (there is no way I could've recounted the animals at the end). The simple story lines, clear illustrations, and entertaining rhyme schemes are as much as I can follow after an exhausting day. Subtle humor and intricate plot lines are too much effort at this point. Plus, Keerthana loves being read to and I'm thrilled that "boo" (for book) features in her small vocabulary at present.

4. There is a new language called Internetparentese: I speak that fluently now. Here's an example of sentence in Internetparentese:

My LO was EBF for 6 months and I'm now trying BLW. DD seems to love it and DH is very supportive. 

3. There is a new way of keeping time: I don't use the Gregorian calendar much these days. It's too confusing. For me this is year 1 AB ( after baby) and I got married in year 3 BB (before baby). The hours are not represented in AM/PM, but are counted around DDT (daycare drop-off time ) to DPT (daycare pickup time), with DPT being the only fixed thing in the day. Hours outside DDT to DPT are all a blur.

2. I'm a rockstar: That's how I feel when I go to pick her up at daycare at the end of the day. She throws her hands up in the air, gives a clap or two, and laughs out loud. She loves my singing. I'm also super funny. I just have to make a sound or two and it cracks her up. I wonder how long this will last, but I'm sure enjoying it!

1. I'm having fun: It is a lot of hard work, sleepless nights, etc. A lot is written and said about that aspect of a baby's first year. But I also feel like I'm having the most fun I've ever had in my life. At least for now. Ask me again next year!